This past year has been full of opportunities for bravery for me. I have stepped outside my comfort zone time and time again, leapt into unknowns, and traveled through such magnitude of emotions. Through all of this I have developed a deeper sense of personal trust in the unique path of my life. No, things have not gone the way I planned, far from it in fact. And yet, I can see now how perfectly imperfect it has been.
I remember leaving Florida almost a year ago now. My kids in the backseat, my car loaded high, and my ex-spouse in the rear view mirror, that moment both tore me apart and set me free. What I didn’t realize at the time was I was leaving behind my unhealthy habits of people pleasing. Up until that point, I teetered on the line of normal and unique, wanting to fit in, check off the traditional ideas we are all spoon fed throughout our lives. I cared deeply what other’s thought of me, even if I managed to conceal that on the surface. So when my “perfect” family dissolved, my spouse came out as transgender, and I moved home I made a pact that I would never exist for anyone’s approval again. I love making people happy, it’s in my nature, but I am now unwilling to do so at the expense of myself.
The pure bliss of decorating my own apartment is hard to articulate. I bought most of my furnishings second hand, I filled the walls with unique artwork, mixed patterns and textures, I made it my home. I looked forward to the solitude of sleeping alone during that time I was healing. Everywhere I looked I saw me and I liked what I saw. So when I was ready to venture out in romance again, I did so with my whole heart intact. I found that loving myself was the most solid foundation I could possibly have in a relationship. It’s amazing what you can build with someone, what you can experience, when you are willing to be completely yourself with your partner.
With an exquisite love relationship peculating, my home life steady and joyful, I thought perhaps the call for change had been satisfied for a while. But as it has been with most leaps of faith, I found myself being pulled in a direction I hadn’t thought too much about. The past year I’ve had the honor of working with a collaboration of women called Daring Spirits. What they are doing with meditation is a serious game changer and essentially what I owe my peace of mind to. With their support, I developed my passion for Sexuality & Relationship Coaching and found my wings. It’s been a beautiful working relationships built on a foundation of strong friendship. Yet, in my head came at first the whisper, which then grew into a roar, “it is time to spread your wings”. What choice did I have but to listen?
So this leap is into the awakening of my own coaching business, built on that same foundation of love, courage, and truth that I have rebuilt my life. Just like all the times of great changes, I am filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation at how this will all unfold, but now it is easier to trust in the uncertainty. Thank you for being here, for taking an interest in my journey. It is my hope that you can see some reflection to yours, and that my bravery inspires your own bravery.
Read. Relate. Repeat.
My hope is through my words, through my own experiences, you will relate to some piece of my story. Some desire that I've shared or insecurity I've admitted to will also belong to you. My words are my truth, but they may also be yours.