What separates good sex from great sex?
Confidence and comfortability. It’s really that simple. The more confident and comfortable you are with yourself and then also with you partner, the better sex is going to be. Nothing is more distracting during sex than worrying about what your body looks like, smells like, and sounds like. When you are worrying about these things you are essentially shutting down your body from experiencing higher levels of pleasure and also shutting down an opportunity for connection with your partner.
The social expectations of what sexy looks like are hard to overcome. We are presented with this very linear idea of what sexy should be. Media makes us believe that in order to be sexually desired we must adhere to a certain set of rules. Not true. Here’s the thing, sexy starts inside and then shines out of us. The focus of sex should be pleasure and connection. Unless you are in the adult entertainment industry, no one cares what you look like during it!
Great sex is messy! Most bodies look a little strange in certain positions, so if you look odd but it feels good keep going! Hair gets messy, bodies get sweaty. Also, strange noises are a total normal (and in my opinion delightfully hysterical) part of sex. To me a big old body fart in the middle of a really sexy moment is a great opportunity to laugh! Laughing during sex can lighten the mood by reminding us about amusement. Sex is fun, it combines physical pleasure, emotional intimacy and an opportunity for amusement. So the next time you have the opportunity to get frisky, I want you to act like the sex god or goddess that you are and see how that changes the experience!
Read. Relate. Repeat.
My hope is through my words, through my own experiences, you will relate to some piece of my story. Some desire that I've shared or insecurity I've admitted to will also belong to you. My words are my truth, but they may also be yours.